Dr. Slamhammer saying something. Again. Him always talk. Him like talk. Mongo not like talk. Leaky pipes drip on Mongo’s head. Mongo just henchman. Mongo not allowed to move from spot. Mongo contemplate upkeep cost of Evil Secret Underground Lair. “Mongo!” Him...

It was a typical March morning, the rain just this side of annoying, so that you had to take a step just a bit bigger than normal in order to avoid the fresh puddles. I knew I was relatively sober because I wasn’t wearing my clothes from the night before. My...

The blood in the snow looked like a Cherry Icee©. Blitzen lay dead, shot through the heart by a high powered marshmallow gun. None of the other reindeer claimed to have heard the shot. Typical. I took one final drag of my candy cigarette before starting to chew the...

In the Magicky World of Wizz-Wu, under the shadow of the Levitating Mountains, between the Sortilegium River and the Forests of Trismegistus, lived a daydreaming boy named Bricklebrack. Bricklebrak never told anyone his dreams. Not his mom, not his best friend, the...

She had a face like a butt. She entered my office without even knocking on the door. I paid good money for that door. The door was kind of the point of the office. “Nick Caliber?” she asked.“That’s what is says on the door.”, I replied. “It doesn’t say anything on the...

The sound of rain against the windows of my office seemed to fade as she entered. She was beautiful, of course, with great legs and a fragile confidence ready to crumble. The fragile confidence wasn’t visible (not like the legs), but my clients were always beautiful,...

I hate you. How can that be, you ask, you’ve never even met me. Oh, but I have. I’ve seen your face, your eyes staring at me, judging me, mocking me, pitying me. I’ve seen you nudge your friend and tell him a joke out of the corner of your mouth, your eyes never...